Toast a sandwich, nurture a child
Dec 2025
Written by Melissa Powney
Sometimes, the most powerful trauma-informed response can start with something as simple as a toasted sandwich.
Through my work with schools across Australia, and as the lead of South Australia’s SMART program, I’ve seen how small moments of nurture can change everything for a child. Recently, a teacher reminded me just how far a few minutes of genuine care can go.
After a training session, a teacher sought my support on how to apply trauma-informed practice for a student who barely spoke, showed little emotion, and rarely participated in class. The student she spoke about was just seven years old. As I often do, I asked what she knew about his story.
He’d already faced rejection, abandonment, and chaos. Unfortunately, these experiences are all too common for children who’ve lived through abuse and neglect. He was in an emergency placement with rotating carers and shifting rosters. Each day, he never quite knew who would be there to pick him up.
I reflected on how hard it must be to have so little predictability, a key ingredient for feeling safe enough to explore and learn. Children need to know who will be there for them at the end of the school day, to help them unpack their bag, and often, their feelings and experiences too.
This child needed a nurturer. Someone consistent. Someone who would notice him.
The teacher could be that person, the one steady adult in his world. I encouraged her to offer small acts of care: checking if he’s warm enough, making sure he’s eaten, and helping him feel seen and safe. She said, “Oh, he doesn’t eat much. He doesn’t like what the workers pack although he will eat his sandwich if we let him take it to the office to be toasted.”
I wondered aloud if there was an opportunity for this to become part of his daily routine, a small act of kindness that says, you matter.
The teacher loved the idea and said she would buy a toasty machine for the classroom. Two weeks later, she returned for part two of the training. She couldn’t wait to share what had happened. Every time she toasted his sandwich, he would talk to her. In those few minutes, he opened up more than he had in an entire day. She learned more about him and even advocated to one of his workers for consistent transport arrangements. The child overheard her doing this and realised she cared enough to speak up for him.
He seemed a little happier, and more attentive in class.
That quiet lunch ritual became something he looked forward to and something she cherished too. For this child, and for his teacher, what started as a toasted sandwich grew into something much more. It became an opportunity for him to feel seen, valued, and cared for.
In my work, I’m constantly reminded that for so many children, especially those with little to rely upon, these small acts of nurture are profoundly meaningful. To all teachers: thank you for noticing, caring, and showing up in the small ways that make the biggest difference for the children who need it most.
Do you have a “toasted sandwich” story of your own — a small act of kindness that mattered to a child or young person?
We’d love to hear it. Email us at support@childhood.org.au
